PUNK icon Johnny Rotten left his beloved wife Nora's ashes behind when he was evacuated during the California wildfires.
The former Sex Pistols frontman — real name John Lydon — was forced to flee an inferno near his Malibu home last month and consoled himself with the thought: "They're burnt already."
Even pals were blindsided by the wisecrack, despite the star's famously dark sense of humour.
Johnny, 69, said: "I sleep with Nora's urn next to the bed. I find that very comforting.
"But during the fires, I made a very, very dark joke which my friends laughed at in a sort of off-putting way.
"When I had to leave the house quickly when everyone was evacuated from the neighbourhood, I thought, 'Well, I might as well leave her ashes here, because they're burnt already'.
"That's the Irish in me. That kind of humour will always be there."
In the end, Johnny's mansion was undamaged in the fires, which killed 29 and destroyed more than 18,000 homes and buildings.
When he was able to return two weeks later, he realised he was blessed not to have lost everything, explaining: "I thought I was gonna come back to nothing, so it would be all right."
And admitting he was "lucky" that Nora's remains were safe, and exactly where he had left them, Johnny said: "I still sleep next to them."
Nora, a publishing heiress, died aged 80 in April 2023 following a battle with Alzheimer's.
Johnny said: "The only mementos we seriously, really have are our memories.
"The sadness of Alzheimer's is that they're losing those memories.
"That is, I think, the ultimate cruelty between life and death."
When Nora was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2018, Johnny became her full-time carer.
'Destroyed on inside'
To get them through tough times, they would sit together watching classic British and Irish comedy shows, including Father Ted.
He recalled: "Humour works well and she loved old comedies like Steptoe And Son, Father Ted.
"She loved British humour and Irish humour even more. So that was just my situation and how I dealt with it, rightly or wrongly.
"Well, I'll soon find out on the other side, won't I, when Nora starts bashing me round the head with a frying pan!"
Almost two years on, Johnny — lead singer of punk band Public Image Ltd — has revealed he was so grief-stricken when Nora died that he considered ending his own life.
He also suffered a "hammer blow" when his best friend and manager John Stevens died soon after.
But in his darkest hours, he found the strength to keep going because he feared killing himself would stop him joining his wife in the afterlife.
He said: "Taking your own life is a stain on your character. Suicide is a no-no.
"I don't think you would be going to the same place, because life is beautiful to me.
"I was totally destroyed on the inside. There's no two ways about that. But my dark humour has helped."
Johnny first met Nora in 1975 at Vivienne Westwood's London fashion store, which was co-owned at the time by Malcolm McLaren — manager of the Sex Pistols.
The couple married in 1979 and Johnny became stepdad to Nora's daughter, singer Ari Up.
The family moved to California in the Eighties and called it home from then on.
'Non-stop talking'
In 2010, Ari died of breast cancer aged 48 and Johnny and Nora became guardians to her three children.
Next year, Johnny will turn 70, but despite his heartache, he has no plans to slow down.
He is embarking on a nationwide tour with Public Image Ltd in May, as well as a 50-date speaking tour of the UK and Ireland from September.
Insisting that the "non-stop talking side" of him is "doing fine", he said he cannot wait to get back on the road to meet his fans.
And the old punk added: "I'm never going to run out of energy."
- Public Image Ltd will tour nationwide from May 22 to August 16. See pilofficial.com.
- John Lydon's spoken word tour of the UK and Ireland runs from September 4 to November 24. See johnlydon.com/tour-dates.
WE WERE CHEEKY FAKERS
FUN-LOVING Johnny and Nora set up a fake online dating profile for laughs, the punk rocker has revealed.
The couple fabricated a name and used pals' pictures as part of the prank.
Johnny said: "Me and Nora used to do things like this. We'd make up a name and go with it and see what happened because everybody else on there is fake, so we joined in the fake.
"Our fake profile did get some attention, but that's as far as it went. It was all just play-acting. We used to post pictures of the ugliest friend we had and wait to see what happened.
"If you're bringing fun into people's lives, there's nothing wrong with that."
On the prospect of finding love again, Johnny said: "I'm certainly not looking for it. But I can't tell you what will or won't be.
"You're not going to find any honesty or a real partnership over the internet."
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